Tuesday, April 15, 2008

This is what 1000 words look like.

I will endeavour to add the first 1000 words of "Madelaine" that I need for the upcoming workshop with Brian Henry on the 26th in Guelph. We are both looking forward to this workshop and it could not be more timely as we are at the rewrite stage.
I have changed only a few lines and words and hope it stands on it's own. If you read this blog don't be shy about letting us know what you think and offer constructive critisism.

After a very busy day at work I decided to pick up my new glasses from the Optician. I have been home for three hours and my husband has not even noticed. They are quite different from my old pair so this tells quite the story. Men!!!

Okay. here's Maddy.


“Oh good Lord! Not ANOTHER meeting!!" Madelaine exhaled as the latest request hit her overflowing inbox. Only Tuesday and yet the thoughts of the weekend just past were fading rapidly. The ship had been amazing! The crew so dedicated to her comfort and attending to her every need, but best of all was meeting Raphael. Never in all her 33 years had she ever laid eyes on such a beautiful man. She had been attracted to his eyes and his smile but his other physical attributes soon became apparent. If it had not been for the wonderful conversations into the night as they watched the stars and the moon on the water Madelaine would have thought she was acting like a schoolgirl.

Madelaine Green was the successful owner and CEO of Executive Plus, a much sought after, high-end recruitment agency. Petite in stature, just over 5’, she radiated good health and dressed well to accent her trim figure and delicate features, minimal make up only enhanced her clear skin, clear blue eyes and softly curling short hair.

“Brains and beauty!! How will I ever be able to concentrate on my work?" thought Madelaine. As well as her responsibilities with her company, Madelaine had recently taken her mother to a nursing home where they were treating her for dementia. The stress of visiting her mother and her busy schedule at work made her more than ready for a respite in the sun. After three days on the water and meeting the man of her dreams, work was the furthest thing from her mind. The insistent ringing of her phone jolted her from her reverie. "Madelaine Green speaking, how may I help you?" answered Madelaine still in a trance. Then she heard his voice....
“Hello my love….have you missed me as much as I am missing you? I could wait no longer to hear the sound of your voice!”

Madelaine could feel the heat rise in her face and her heart could not help but react to that voice, and instantly she was transported back into the presence of this oh so attractive man! His handsome Spanish looks, searching deep brown eyes, and thick head of black hair fit well on his 6 foot, athletic frame. What woman would not be hopelessly attracted!

“Raphael! Where are you?” For when they had parted, he had implied that he would be returning to Venezuela, on Isla de Margarita, where he lived the life of an artist.
“I could not return home without seeing you again, and to tell you that you have inspired my next piece of art, but for which I am in need of your assistance. Please tell me that you will help me!”
“Help you? I don’t quite understand. But I would certainly love to see you again as well!”
“Ahhh. There, you have made my day, my dear Madelaine! Can we meet this week for dinner? I know of a quiet restaurant where we could continue our.,…” The phone disconnected!

“Hello? Raphael? Hello?” Dejectedly, Madelaine replaced the receiver and willed it to ring again, but to no avail. Minutes passed and she began to think she had just been daydreaming! Just as she began to come back down to earth, there was a knock at her office door. Her assistant stood there; apparently ready to usher in an unexpected visitor. One look at the man beside Shelley gave Madelaine the sense he would not take no for answer, and she began to mentally switch gears to deal with whatever was now at hand.

“Um…Ms Green? This is Inspector Kirwan of the Royal Bahamas Defense Force,” explained Shelley reading from a business card. She ushered in an imposing figure of a man every bit as handsome as Raphael, and Madelaine wondered at her good fortune to be so lucky. “What’s got into me?’” thought Madeleine shaking her head. “I really must get a hold of myself.” Gesturing to her visitor to sit, Madelaine tried to keep her mind on the Inspector and not on Raphael’s phone call.

Madelaine turned her gaze on her visitor and summed him up in an instant as a very confident and in control type of man. Dressed in casual but expensive clothes and with an air of authority, Inspector Kirwan came right to the point. Before Madelaine even had time to ask if he would like some refreshments, something she automatically offered anyone visiting her office, the Inspector said “Ms Green, I have to tell you something that is of National importance and I have a few questions for you. Our Intelligence reports informed us that you have recently returned from my beautiful island, or to be precise, were sailing in the waters surrounding The Bahamas. Is that correct?” said the Inspector making eye contact with Madelaine.

She tried madly to gather her thoughts and to figure out just what this man wanted. She boldly asked for some identification other than a business card. “I don’t know you from a hole in the ground and I am not about to give you any personal information until I see a badge or official I.D.” said Madelaine frostily.” “Maybe I should call security or our legal counsel that can be here in a few minutes” she concluded as she tried to take charge of the situation.

“I was just about to suggest that you should maybe have a legal representative
sit in on this conversation”, agreed Inspector Kirwan as he flashed what certainly looked like an official government badge. Madelaine reached for the phone to call her assistant and wondered how she could feel so euphoric one minute and very confused and upset the next.

“Please ask Brian Matesa to come to my office right away. I need to see him on a matter of urgency,” said Madelaine trying to keep her voice from wavering. She gave herself a mental shake “I am the CEO of the most successful head hunting agency in all of Virginia. This is MY turf and I am in control!”
She calmly requested that Shelley provide some coffee for the Inspector and herself, while they waited on the arrival of her legal counsel.

Enjoy and hope to hear from you.



wendy czelusniak said...

Madelaine is absolutely fascinating story ! Please keep it alive and twist it at the end , so we can all fall off our chairs !
Can't wait until both of your novels will be published , and I promise I will read "Body perfect" , as well...before it'll hit the bookstores . Wendy Czelusniak

Liz said...

Hi Wendy!

Pam and I are so glad you are enjoying Madelaine and we really appreciate your enthusiasm and feedback.

Tomorrow we'll see if our workshop instructor has such kind words as you do when we both present 1000 words for review, she will present 1000 from Madelaine, and I will do likewise from the opening of Body Perfect.

Have a great weekend.


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